Monday, July 19, 2010

In Pursuit of Clarity...
A few days ago, I made a blog entry titled This Was My Sister.  You can read it by clicking the title.  The intended point of my words was that the wonderful, vibrant, funny, beautiful, loving, smart, giving, talented, and absolutely marvelous person I grew up knowing as my sister is being stolen from us by a cancerous tumor in the speech and language portion of her brain.  I wanted to post pictures of her as she was, as I remember her, as I have always known her, so that all would remember that very, very special person whom I love so dearly, and remember her at her best rather than as she is now, to celebrate a life lived to its fullest.
It is tragic that cancer can do this terrible thing.  It is heartbreaking and dreadful.  I know that my sister is still alive and that she is still my sister.  I intended to make the point that even though she still lives, I am mourning the person she was...the person who has been a constant and vitally important part of my life for nearly fifty-four years, the woman who is being taken from us, bit by bit.
I have spent a great deal of time with my sister these past two years as she has fought this horrid monster with all her being.  I have seen her slip away, a little at a time.  It is tearing me apart.
It is apparent, however, that I did not find the right words to make that point.  Someone read the blog entry on my Facebook page, misunderstood what I was trying to say, and felt the need to point out on my page that she IS, not WAS my sister, as if I had not considered that fact. I apologize for any mistakenly-perceived callousness on my behalf.  I assure you all that no harm was intended.  I don't know any better way to say it.  If I offended, I hope I can be forgiven.  I am just a sister, mourning the impending loss of a sister, and I don't know how I will go on without her in my life.